I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live

The more I walk this Earth, the more in love with it I am. How diverse everything nature has made, in all its strange forms all serving a unique function while maintaining resourcefulness. It's absurd that something like this exists, who did it, I demand to know who the mastermind could be behind such a glorious experiment? I am considering making some sort of photo collage of different pictures I have collected of the sky and the sun! woo project time. I still have not finished decorating my room, which definitely needs more functional pieces before I start getting into the smaller decor elements. It's coming together nicely, but I think it needs a storage chest. A big lavish wooden one with quilted red cushions on top ha! Everyone needs a chest in their life, we'd all be so royal...

In other news, I am thinking about making some sort of passion fruit froth-y, mousse-like, cake business. I think I am beginning to obsess about the color yellow, everything I have been talking about is yellow/golden. It's got depth and richness, but mellow all at the same time. My mum isn't doing too well... I'm not sure if its not getting enough sun, or enough water...hmmf I hope I can save it.

More to come for all those readers, all one of you! ;) I must figure out customizing this journal, I'll be more apt to write in it and post more pictures in the near future.

hard to be soft, tough to be tender

The week has been coming to a very slow halt, to which I am most thankful. Those days when your schedule drives you in every which direction...takes you for a ride, runs you in circles, shake rattle and roll, and then leaves you abruptly. Good riddance. After many a study filled, science induced sleep-talking, junk-food laiden nights, I am ready to recharge! Visiting some old friends and family in Los Angeles just makes me ecstatic. Old friends, new friends, best friends, I couldn't group any of these people into those categories, they are all of them and at the same time none of them. They are timeless, precious gems, that cannot be defined because it would be a diservice to their individuality. I have never met a group of people more eccentric! It was absolutely amazing being in my home, seeing everything in the same place it has been since I was so little. The feeling of knowing where everything is because it has been there since I've always known it to be, seeing it, with its very same matte finish, with its very same delicate curvature, every part of it made me feel good. I want this sense of home because I am a creature of perception, I notice the smallest of change in anything.

my soul feels warm. I hope yours does too :)

everyday is an endless dream

blue glass tea cup
cozy, red bed
yellow mum by the windowsill
Simon and Garfunkel, Homeward bound


I'm Home

So I've been thinking a lot about what defines a person. If you're an athlete, you define yourself by your strength and endurance. If you're an artist, creativity and new forms of creation guide you. I for instance love to learn, almost anything interests me from different types of music, culture, religion, food, and definitely biochemistry. But I am unable to say that anyone of those things is overwhelmingly me, I am a combination of all of those elements. I feel like the older I get, the more I understand how hard it is to maintain all your hobby interests, seperate from your priority money making function, rarely is it an actual interest. We become mechanical in our actions and more and more hungry for the final result, but can easily dislike or hate the task at hand. To each his own, some people may struggle and be miserable for the simple need, an entirely understandable dilema. However, that is not the path that I want to take. It is ideal to love and enjoy everything you do, and I feel like this can be accomplished if you take each day one at a time, never looking too far forward or back, but really living in the present. My experience has showed me that living through a past memory, hoping to relive the same feeling twice rarely ever happens. The beauty either lives and turns into a memory, or dies and becomes a fear. The only feeling I've been able to feel no matter how new or old an experience, is the unexplainable butterfly ridden excitement your stomach makes, or the lightness your heart feels when someone brings joy so deep it reaches the inners of your skin, just touching your bones, and making all the hair on your skin shiver in anticipation. I'm always tempted to say that it feels like love.

...is ready for tomorrow!

baby steps

Well isn't this exciting, my first blog! I have been looking for a place to share some of my wacky burning life questions, ramblings, stories, pictures, etc.. This way I can share most anything I want, because reading it is totally optional.. Lets see I'll start with certain things I love.. I love my life, spontaneous and ordered all at the same time, things just pop out of nowhere and surprise the hell out of me...my train of though never ceases to flow, by the end of each day I take everything that has happened and come to some sort of break-through that will carry me for a couple of days until I find the next one. I love teaching myself, since I am my own head experiment. I love learning, and I love sharing, and feeling. If by the end of everyday I experience some new feeling, be it bad or good, I feel like the days mission was complete. A quote to end my first entry

The supreme truths are neither the rigid conclusions of logical reasoning nor the affirmations of credal statement, but fruits of the soul's inner experience.

-Sri Aurobindo

If you've ever had the inclination to smile for no apparent reason you can trust that feeling because you know it couldn't have come from anywhere other than something inside you, something untouched by the outside world, there is no denying the purity of that kind of feeling.



...love is in the air, everywhere I look around